I honestly can’t think of a title tonight.  It’s been a rough few months, and I’m just at a loss.

It’s great that we have a house and will have it paid off by August.  That was one of my dreams, to own a house free and clear.  A dear friend of mine said it just wasn’t the way things worked.  Of course, it wasn’t in the plan that we buy a house we can’t live in.

It’s great we have a place to stay while we’re trying to get our house fixed up.  I wish I had more time to work on it.  I’ve got so much that needs done, and I find other things to do instead.  Maybe the idea would be to finish Yoga early, get my laundry done and go there and work a bit.  We have a few more king studs to do, & some major refinishing for the cupboards.

I guess I’m just discouraged because we start getting close to getting the money saved for the work we have to pay for, and then something comes up.  My car breaks down and it’s spend all our savings or buy a new one.  Hubby’s truck breaks down and it’s another chunk out of our savings.  Then we start saving again… and hubby’s truck breaks down again.  Let’s not even take into account the electrical issue with my new vehicle… lights coming on for a few minutes or a few days and going off again, issues with the power door locks, issues with the power windows.

And with everything else, work stress.  They’re dividing the department.  No, they’re not dividing the sub-department, just the bigger division.  No, they’re actually dividing the department into four sections.  Oh, we have this person over here whose job it is to be sure that all of the sections talk to each other so there aren’t any problems with the division.  Oh, well one section is moving to the plants, separated so one is at each plant.

Feelings are running high at work.  People are resenting the change and making it difficult for those of us who just want to do our jobs.  Plus, though I have someone to help me now, I’m still having to train people on the parts of my job that they took over.  And I have to train the person to help me.  And I have to participate in 10000000000000 conference calls where we discuss new projects or things that some people aren’t willing to change and are talking to the rest of us as if we’re stupid because it worked well that way for 17 years so it must be the exact way we should continue to do things, even though the other regions did things a different way for 17 years and it’s much easier and doesn’t take nearly as long to do.

And all the time I just want to be spending more time with my kids and less time dealing with the stress of the job.  More time at home and less time at work while everyone else is eating dinner because this project absolutely has to be done asap.  The project is HOT, never mind that we don’t have all of the information, and we have to scramble to track everything down.

Is it any wonder that all I’m wanting to do lately is sleep?

My blessings – yea, I need to count those.

1. I have a job.  I might hate it, but I have the income.

2. We have a place to live.  We might be dealing with a 12 year old who likes to boss my 8 year old around, but we have a roof over our heads.

3. We own a house, we owe less than $2k on it now.  If it weren’t for needing to buy new rims for hubby’s truck, we’d be able to pay it off any time we wanted.

4. We have working vehicles.

5. Hubby has a job.  He’s been working at a ‘real’ job for the last 10 months, and his boss appreciates his work ethic.

6. I get boy and girl hugs every day.  I get giggles and kisses and I have a 4 year old who reminds me of his big brother.  I never know what he’s going to say next.

7. I can talk to my family in FL.  I tend to be short on RL friends.  It’s nice to be able to call and ask advice.  I miss them like crazy, but I guess there’s a reason that I’m still in OK.