I’ll admit, I’ve been a member of eDiets for about 7 years now.  It was doing me some good for awhile, then I had some personal issues.  Lately, I’ve been getting back into it and getting some major use out of the site.  At least until this week.

 They updated the site, and now it’s hit or miss if I can log in or post.  When I need the support to watch what I’m eating, I get so frustrated with not being able to log in. 

I know there are free sites out there for weight loss.  All of my friends are at eDiets though, so I want to continue to post there.  I guess all I can do is keep trying to log in.

Lately I’ve been reading several blogs by self-proclaimed geeks. 

 So how do you decide if you’re a geek?  I’ve always jokingly referred to myself as a computer geek, but if I go by others’ definitions, I’m not a geek because I don’t work with computers or program with vi (or emacs, depending on which school of thought you belong to).

 I don’t have my A+ or Network+ certs, but I do watch How It’s Made and Mythbusters.  I get most computer jokes.

So am I a geek?  Yes.  I don’t care what anyone else says, I think I am.  That has to count for something.

Lately, my heart has been breaking for my niece.  She adores her mom, yet SIL maybe goes to see her for 30 minutes a day and most of that time is spent on the phone with others.

Now that I’ve said that, I feel more at peace and better able to move on to more important things than the drama in my life.

Ok, so that’s not the whole message you get when you miss an attack when MUDding, but the sentiment is there.

 I’ve fallen on my face with trying to do too much, but all it’s done is get me sick. 

Maybe I’m just having trouble thinking because I can’t breathe, but I can’t sleep either this morning.  I am never up at this time of day. 

I’ve been trying to start a freelance design business.  So not only am I putting in bids on design jobs on guru.com, but I’m freelance writing to get extra money for a vacation in September, plus I’m working over time to get all of my work done at my regular job. 

My husband figures that since he’s working overtime too, that that’s the equivalent of what I am doing.  Yea, then he stays up all day and sleeps during the evening when I need help with our 2 year old. 

So after spending many weeks researching the different candidates to find their stance on issues that I deem important, I find out today that I am unable to vote in Oklahoma’s primary.  Since I registered as an independent, I couldn’t vote.  Talk about frustrating.

 I haven’t even checked to see who won the polls because I’m not sure how much it matters.  The winner isn’t going to be the presidential candidate, they just keep going and going.  I can’t wait for the Republican and Democratic caucuses so that I can decide who is running and who gets my vote. 

The primaries are coming up for many states, including Oklahoma and Missouri.  Though I had some major reservations about Edwards, I had fewer about him than any of the other democrats that are running. 

 I feel that Hilary is two-faced.   I don’t feel Obama has enough experience at anything.  He’s only been a senator for 4 years. 

The last thing I’m going to do is vote for Romney or Huckabee.  I feel that Romney doesn’t understand over half the population — the half that lives from paycheck to paycheck.  He paid for some of his own campaign, so what does he know about being poor?  How is he going to fix the economy? For Huckabee, he pushed to have a convicted rapist released in Arkansas.  That so-called man went on to rape and kill at least one more person, maybe 2. 

I hate how the media doesn’t give equal time to all candidates, some of the ones that dropped out because they didn’t get enough votes also didn’t get enough media coverage.

Blame it on Main Stream Media, they know who they want as president.  Let’s just hope it’s someone who understands the changes that need to be made in this country.

Well, tonight a second person told me they found my blog when looking for the new address for Apoc.

So, for any of you Apoc MUDders out there, yes this is Shar, and the address for ApocFE (Apocalypse Forever) is apocmud.usurped.com 4000.  I’d say you know the rest.

See you there 🙂

After several questions below, I asked on Facebook for what the current address is.  Hacket has the old url from Pestilence – apocmud.org 4000.  We also have a Facebook group – Apocalypse V – that a number of people are posting their quests.  Since I don’t have Internet at home at the moment, I have been unable to MUD lately, but I’ve been keeping updated by watching the group there.

Shar

Last night I decided to log onto the MUD I used to play.  For those who don’t know, a MUD or a Multi User Dungeon is the precursor to the MMORPG’s that many people play now.  It is a text based role playing game. 

 The MUD I used to play was Apocalypse IV, later to become Apocalypse V.  Now some of the long time players took over for the first game implementor.  They changed the name to Apocalypse Forever or ApocFE for short.

 I was surprised to see an old friend when I logged on.  Seeing him reminded me of how far I’ve come since I first started MUDding so many years ago.  In a way, it made me feel old.  Especially when I remember that my son was only 3 when I started playing.

Today, I had my niece again. My SIL asked if they could come over and hang out for 45 minutes then her daughter would stay with us until we dropped off my step-son. I said fine. Of course, SIL only stayed for maybe 20 minutes, but that didn’t surprise me. She won’t give her daughter up for adoption, but she isn’t the one taking care of her either.

DH’s mother died the year his son and niece were born. When his niece was 18 months old or thereabouts, she was taken from her mom for a lack of clean house/neglect. Their grandparents took his niece in. Once my SIL was able to have her daughter back, she still didn’t take care of her much. Or at least the last 2 years since I’ve been living here in Enid, she hasn’t been.

I think the grandparents are using my niece as a replacement for their daughter, or at least the grandmother. She talks as if no one else is capable of making sure DN’s homework is done, or even that DN is safe when we have tornado warnings. Umm yea, I was a single parent for 10 years, I don’t know anything about making sure that kids do their homework.

It’s really draining on me to watch this. I watch grandma treat DN as a baby. We’re talking about a 7-1/2 yo still drinking out of a sippy cup. She gets whatever she wants, all she has to do is start a screaming fit. Well, everything but one, she doesn’t get her mother’s attention like she should. Instead, she’s living with the grandparents (who are in their late 70’s/early 80’s). No one fun for a 7 yo to live with.

I watch as everyone gives in to what DN wants. The grandparents don’t like the tantrums, so give up and tell her she can do whatever she wants. SIL just gives in. I’m not sure if it’s because of guilt, or what is on her mind. She’ll say no the first time, then after the 3rd or 4th time, she says yes. DN doesn’t even bother asking me a 2nd time when I say no. She knows I won’t change what I say.

My heart breaks for that little girl. I really wonder what she thinks when she can get whatever she wants. Candy and sweets are the least of it. She’s so defiant, even with me. The only way I can get it to stop is to give her a time out. Of course, the first time out lasts about 30 minutes because she doesn’t stop screaming long enough for me to run the timer for 7 minutes. I finally have to tell her no, for the last time, she is not getting a drink until she is out of time out. I don’t care how thirsty she is. All she has to do is sit quietly for 7 minutes. If she hadn’t thrown this tantrum, she’d already be out of time out.

Actually, the last time I gave her a time out, she was quiet almost immediately. I think she finally gets it. Now if I could handle having her more often so I could help her. Before she goes too far and turns out like her mom, never able to hold down a job, always just living off others, mooching money for cigarettes and gas. Spending what money she does get on beer or other alcohol. Blowing her tax return on game systems for the latest guy she’s trying to keep.

Poor kid, my heart really breaks for my DN. One of these days, the grandparents are going to be gone. At that point, I suspect that DH and I will be the ones who are taking care of her. I only hope it is not too late.

I’ve been thinking about my father today. It would have been his 85th birthday. Wow, that just doesn’t seem possible that it has been 4.5 years since he died.

Whereever you are, daddy, I love you and miss you.