Monday would have been my step-son’s 23rd birthday. We have a memorial dinner planned and have invited a number of people – ones that were important parts of his life.

His mom and grandmother’s deaths might have been part of why he felt he needed to do what he did. (The phrase I was looking for was contributing factor. I remember after I hit publish.)

His step-brother will be there (his step-dad’s son from a previous relationship) but his half brothers will not. Both of them are currently in prison.

We are trying to get his and his grandmother’s house through probate. It’s odd since we were not related to her, but the house can’t sit empty until one or the other gets out of prison. We can’t pay property tax on it. We will get everything through probate and put the money aside in trust for when they get out. That is what their mother would have asked us to do.

Neither of the half brothers have a father that will help. My step-son’s step-dad didn’t even have anything to do with the step-brother (step-dad’s son) after he divorced my step-son’s mother.

Everything is just so overwhelming. The tears are close to the surface right now. It seems like the grief comes in waves. I’m sure it’ll get hard again around September 1, the day he died.

Not much else to say tonight.