Like arguing with a brick wall

I started writing this April 30th and got sidetracked and discouraged.

It’s frustrating sometimes reading the press releases from big companies.  The company I work for had a big article in the paper talking about how they’re moving a bunch of jobs from Oklahoma to the corporate office.  The press release said flat out that it wasn’t affecting jobs here.  Nevermind the 10+ people who have lost their job, and at least another 10 who have had to move or lose theirs.

Instead, they were saying the moves only affect people in Edmond, OK.


I started reading the paper while I was out in public – at the local coffee shop where I sometimes stop.  I started yelling, then took a deep breath and put the paper back on the counter.  The barista said something about arguing with the paper, and I said I was arguing with the people who wrote the press release instead.

One of the things the article said was that our town wasn’t going to be affected financially.  Except when asked, it suddenly changed to the company wasn’t going to be affected financially.

It’s like talking to a brick wall.  I understand that the number of jobs lost here in town is small in the grand scheme of things, but it’s just so frustrating to have the whole situation downplayed like we don’t matter at all.

Of course, I’ve been offered another job within the company, so I”m no longer affected, but still.  I feel ignored.

That’s why I wrote an anonymous question for the town hall meeting this week.  I asked why they were willing to get rid of that much regulatory knowledge.  Let’s see what they say, if I even hear it since I’ll be out of town training my replacement this week.

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Gotta love the irony

I got a job search email from LinkedIn today.  In it, it says that my company is looking for people like me…

Yea, they are.  They were trying to convince me to move to Cincinnati, OH.  I don’t feel right moving so far away with a step-son who needs his father living here.  He graduates in 5 years, maybe then I’ll change my mind.

In the meantime, I need to figure out what I want to do.  They keep talking about wanting to extend my time there again, but I haven’t heard anything definite.  It’s now down to about 4 weeks to go.  This could get interesting.

Someone at one of the plants wants to offer me a job.  My only issue is that I have 2 kids under 10 and can’t work weekends if my husband is working.  So what do I do?  So far, I haven’t heard anything official from him either.

I hate being in limbo.  Yet, the company I work for is looking for employees.

And the stress had me falling asleep at 7 last night.

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Life is Good

I saw this from one of the blogs I follow and started thinking.

It’s so easy to focus on the negative, whether it’s stepping on something, or having your car stop working correctly.

What happens when we focus on the positive? does our attitude change?

Life is good, life can be good.  All we need to do is remember to take it one day at a time.

and focus on the positive.

Life is good, even though I’m not sure when my job ends any more.

Life is good, even though we’re not in our own house yet.

Life is good…

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Ugh – I’m getting old

If there’s anything that gives me a perfect example of how old I’m getting, it’s working 50 hours in a week.  And I still have to go in tomorrow.  I am tired.

You’d think that sitting at a desk job, I wouldn’t be tired, but I was falling asleep on the couch at 8 tonight.  I think part of it is the stress getting to me.  Part is probably because I didn’t get to sleep until late last night, and the kids were crawling into my bed at 6:30 this morning.

For my funny of the week:

Hubby was looking for bike shops in town on Google.  The first two links he got were for a bike shop about a mile from here, and one near the high school outside of town.  No mention was made of the 3rd bike shop in town, but Scooters, the local country western bar was on the list.

Gotta love Google.

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Sometimes I look at how my life is going and wonder how I can make it through. I know it’s a step by step kind of thing, but everything is so overwhelming when I just step back and look.

Sometimes I look at the choices I’ve made over the years and wish I could call for a redo.

Sometimes I feel like I should be doing something different but I get so overwhelmed by the choices out there. I feel like I’ve settled on one choice only to waffle a few days later.

Sometimes I remember being young and going for what I wanted with a focus I haven’t seen in 20 years. When did I lose that drive?

Maybe its time to set pen to paper and figure out what I need to do and where to aim my life.

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Hello, darkness, my old friend

I try not to say a whole lot, but I sometimes battle depression.  Like being shy in real life, it’s just part of who I am sometimes.

Needless to say, the whole situation with work has hit me pretty hard.  Living with family for 2 years doesn’t help.  I think the constant stress is wearing on me.  I do know that I have regained the 50 pounds I fought so hard to lose 3 years ago.  Tonight, I’m fighting back tears as I sit here typing.

I know part of how to deal with it, it’s been an off and on battle for years.  The first thing I need to do is cut out sugar.  I don’t mean just a little, I mean I have to cut it all out.

Then I need to start walking on the treadmill again, 20 – 30 minutes a day, pushing myself to do intervals.

The food part is going to be hard over the next week.  The exercise, not so hard, just I’m going to end up having a case of the ‘I don’t wannas’ for quite awhile at first.

Right now it looks bleak.  I’m trying to hard to remember that depression lies.  We will eventually get into our house.  The work situation will eventually work itself out.  All is not hopeless.  All is not lost.

It just feels that way tonight.

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How do you know?

I’ve been trying to figure out, when you lose your job like I am, how do you know the best place to look for another? Do I look internally? Do I look externally?

Do I bite the bullet and take the time I have to try to build up my writing?

I have 10 weeks to figure it out.

In the meantime, I’m applying for internal jobs — ones within the company.

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Oncoming train

A couple of years ago I wrote something to the effect of I hope for my former coworkers sake the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t an oncoming train or a hyper kid with glow sticks.

Yesterday I got hit by the train – figuratively at least. My job is moving to Cincinnati and I’m not being asked to move. My last day will be March 28.

I hated my job but really like my coworkers. I feel bad for the other 4 that got similar news, they rely on the job for their insurance. I don’t.

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The last few months I’ve been wanting to write a novel but kept putting it off.  Earlier this week I decided that I was going to do it by participating in NaNoWriMo – National Novel(la) Writing Month – that takes place every November.

The goal is to write 50,000 words this month.

I have one day to outline the story that’s been sitting in my head for 7 years.  I’ve got another story that’s been there for 15 years that needs to come out as well.  I had snippets of that other story on my website at one point.  Now I need to figure out where they are, or I need to rewrite them.

It should make for an interesting time.

In the meantime, it’s bedtime – after I read the article I just found on writing habits lol.  Laterness & g’night.



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Shopping around

At some point very soon, I’m going to have to wipe the hard drive on my laptop and reinstall Windows.  The main problem is, I bought it used from work and got the key for this copy of Vista since it came with the computer, but I don’t think I have an installation disc for Vista.  That should make things fun.

I’m not sure a total wipe will help anyway, I heard a rattling near my fan when I rebooted earlier.

I think I need to find a place where I can upload the files I want to keep so I don’t lose them when I reboot.  I’ve got another doorstops that I need to somehow access and get files off it too.

Anyway, it’s late.  I’m tired.  I’m frustrated by the laptop that is going out.  Maybe I should just buy brand new this time. I just don’t really want Windows 8, and am no longer as familiar as I used to be with Linux.

Laterness & g’night.

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